Friday

I'm going to try and blog about this long weekend in three seperate chunks to make it a bit easier to follow and for me to remember. I really should have done all this at the time but really couldn't manage to fit it into all that was going on. This might mean that I just skip stuff and shorten my rambling, probably a good thing :)

Anyway, Friday: Got up ridiculously early on Friday so that I could have my shower and then dry and straighten my hair. It felt very important to me that I look 'right' for such an important step in my life so I'd been planning the outfit and look for a few days and had to make sure I got it right. Anyway, no major stresses in getting ready and was only about 10mins behind the time I wanted to leave the house - about 7:15! (no wonder I'm tired now).

No big problems getting to Manchester in plenty of time via local bus and then little train from Chorley; got a few looks but no outright staring. Nothing really in Manchester either, everyone was friendly and helpful.

Just a point on the whole staring thing: I try and let people do it and get it over with. Sometimes it does bug me, particularly if it's totally blantant or constant, like the nosy old woman on the train to London who just kept looking. But generally if I can see someone is trying to have a surreptitious look I just turn the other way and let them not feel too awkward. I know I look 'odd' and I'd prefer people to not feel awkward so they don't associate me, or other trans people, as a threat or something difficult to deal with.

Anyway, got to London, got in a taxi, which included the mildly racist, anti-government rantings of the average cabbi (very entertaining), got to hotel, had to pay £10 to check in at 1pm because official time is 3pm (Travellodge money-making scheme), then finally wandered off to get to my appointment.

Can't remember now what I was thinking but I was pretty nervous, although I think I'd got most of it under control and had spent so much time going over everything in my head that there wasn't much else to think about!

Was early and ended up sitting waiting for my appointment and got talking to a lovely, beautiful and interesting woman whose name I've completely failed to remember. If you're reading this and you were at there around 2:30 on Friday; it was fantastic to chat to you and really helped my nerves, and get in touch :)

Dr Curtis was lovely as usual, and just asked how everything was going and how things had progressed since seeing him last. Explained everything that had been going on and how supportive everyone had been. Then came the topic of hormones and he simply asked whether I would be wanting to start treatment to which I answered: "Definitely".

Decided to go for patches instead of tablets - there is, from what I understand little difference in effectiveness but not hitting my liver as hard seemed like a good idea (particularly in light of the drinking that came in the evening - see later).

So armed with 3 months supply of patches I left feeling quite happy but with a little feeling of anti-climax. So, the plan was to go and spend silly money on a ring to mark this point in time and also to apply the first patch. Well, thought I better do that first so located toilets in Debenhams (snobbish and practical - reasoned the nicer stores would have bigger and cleaner loos) and stuck what looks like a square of sellotape onto my tummy. Hmmm, very much an anti-climax really.

Can't say I felt particularly different at all, but definitely happy, if still a little thoughtful and overwhelmed by it all. But that was it, I had started and it was all very real now.

Met up with Deborah and Sue in the evening and then with some other friends in a pub somewhere near Kings Cross (was quite lost at this point), and proceeded to try and drink WAY too much on an empty stomach. This was followed by a small amount of staggering (and things spinning a little) until with found a really nice Italian restaurant when we could drink more wine and desperately try and counteract this with food!

Can't remember what time I got to bed, think it wasn't too late but I was fairly drunk by this point and really just not thinking about much at all. Was still able to send silly txt messages to Lucy so I can't have been *that* drunk!