Spend, spend, spend ... why?

I just spent about £120 on three pairs of shoes that I hope are going to go with outfits I intend to wear at Sparkle. I've also just been looking at some fabulous earrings and considering buying those AND getting my ears pierced in order to wear them. So why do I spend so much money?

Well, I also just did a little reality check and looked a bit harder at some pictures I took that didn't really show me at my best, the angle and lighting were all a bit too harsh and didn't capture the look that a wanted to show. To be blunt there was a bit too much "guy with make-up on" look rather than "fab woman about town" which was the look I was aiming for.

So, having a think about all this it occurred to me that I buy all this stuff in a vain attempt to feel/look more female using almost a circular kind of argument; if I own these things then I must be female as they are items that only a woman would want.

Of course, the reality is that no amount of clothes, shoes, jewellery or other things is going to change anything, so it's really just going to burn up money, effort, and time. I guess the only real solution is to do something about me rather try and hope against hope that the next outfit will magically make my outer appearance match the inner ideal that I want to be.