"Oh, what a night ..."

... and day!

I should first cover the sacrifices made for the day/night to be so good; my feet for a start (think those shoes needed wearing-in first!), and the screen on my N900 phone (though the camera survived me dropping the bag which I am immensely relieved about obviously!). Will have to put in an insurance claim for the phone and rest my feet!

Okay, now the good stuff: Afternoon at York races curtesy of my fabulous and stunning friend, Jane who invited me along. This was the, sometimes dreaded and infamous, girls-day-out, comprising Jane's sister, cousins and friends. I mentioned what I was doing to (male) friends at work and they immediately decided that York was not the place to be on Saturday!

But the group was just fantastic and while we were definitely loud, drunk, and sometimes pretty boisterous and maybe even verging on crude and more unruly than some of the guys, we looked gorgeous and just had soooooooo much fun! I think only Jane won anything on the horses and the ones that the group picked all failed to make it across the line first (though there were some that were close ... sadly this doesn't appear to count, oh well, live and learn lol).

I've never been to the races before and it was a wonderful experience that I completely enjoyed! Just a nice atmosphere. I took quite a few pictures (could have taken more there was so many stunning people and outfits) which I'll have to add to the pile I need to process so don't expect an update anytime soon.

One rather irritating thing was some particularly obnoxious guys who kept pestering our little group. They were just annoying, making comments, staring, pointing and being generally the mindless and laddish in every possible bad sense of those words. Really, this is not the way to impress the ladies, it just shows what an idiot your are. Thankfully after Jane had a little word with them they left us alone. Considering the guys we met later I can only conclude that these idiots were childish little boys.

So, moving onto the X factor performance - there was a stage they'd set up that became the focus of attention after the racing finished. Everyone seemed to know who the people were that sang but I've lost interest in the X Factor so I had no idea. Was pretty entertaining and we had a good dance (more photos of course), and were joined by a lovely group of guys who turned out to be quite photogenic and fun (can you have phonetic alliteration?). See above for contrast by the way!

After the dancing fun it was time to get some junk food to soak up some alcohol and then head into town on the extremely over-subscribed shuttle buses; the queues being fueled by the torrent of people streaming from the race course. Feet got a bit of a rest at this point and once we got off we all realised that, while our shoes may look fantastic, they aren't designed to cover the miles in comfort! Several shoes ended up having a little rest as feet got to feel the slightly cold (and damp - brief shower) pavement.

Found a bar (Varsity as it happens) and got more drinks. Ended up talking to a guys out on a stag night who couldn't decide if they were Fireman or bin-men or both. Either way they were lovely to chat to and we ended up following them to Reflex which is an 80s bar, where the remainder of the stag party and Jane and I danced solidly from when we got in until when we left (the guys carried on, I finally succumbed to my feet's wishes so we had to leave). Thanks guys, we had a fantastic time x

Back home by taxi, then time for bacon sandwiches before crashing into bed. Up at stupid o'clock this morning (Jane had to get away and I'm genetically cursed with waking up early irrespective of when I go to bed). Thankfully I'm not hung-over but I suspect I'm going to be very tired later on; today is therefore a 'duvet day' and I'm going to chill in front of the telly!

Now, just a note for regular reader(s): I've mentioned guys lots here so I better clarify; no, I'm not turning straight of anything like that, I have no interest in men apart from as friends. However, I do really, really appreciate guys who are polite, respectful, and charming. I would happily go on a 'date' with a nice guy who would be a total gentleman (I've even got a mental list of people who I'd pick given a choice - it mainly includes actors and the likes but there are some others on there). Guys do get a bad press (because of the f***-wits I described earlier) but really most of the men I encounter are pretty much normal, nice, fun, interesting and just wonderful human beings.

Anyway, I best get on with chilling out and having a relaxing Sunday. Final word: to Jane and the rest of the girls, THANKS LOTS you're all FABULOUS xxx

Christmas Party

It was the works Christmas party last night, held in the York Railway Museum! It was fantastic, really amazing setting, great food, drink (though didn't have much of this as I was driving), good fun and most importantly wonderful people. As I said to Rachel last night, this is the best place I have ever worked, I love it!

Rachel an I took quite a few pictures, I'm being shamelessly vain in just showing (mainly) the ones of her and me (mainly me) here on my website. Rachel did get some pictures of other people which look fab but I'll leave them in her more capable hands for processing.

We had a fantastic time, sadly all too brief as we needed to get home and to bed, which first required us to walk through the freezing night to the snow covered car and then for me to negotiate roads already starting to slush/ice/freeze over. This morning arrived rather too quickly (must catch up sleep over the weekend) but with fantastic wintery scenes for a trip to work.

The weekend

Well, better late than never. It's taken me a while to get round to writing about the weekend and I've also got other things queuing up in my head that I want to get written down as well so I'll make this quick!

The weekend was FAB!

That covers it I guess ... okay, maybe a bit more detail:

I drove down to Lucy's on Friday evening, got stuck in lots of traffic but had a great time singing along to the selection of music I'd copied onto CD (I never have any decent things to listen to in the car so made an effort this time). Did get a few funny looks but frankly I prefer to be happily singing/wiggling along to music that sitting stony-faced and seething about the queue!

Had tea at Lucy's (was so nice that her Mum thought of feeding us - always made to feel welcome there) and then into Brum and the usual getting ready to go out routine which I'm actually not that slow at now!

The start of the evening was in one of the apartments that you can rent - think someone said for £70/night - and they are fantastic; two bedrooms, bathroom, lounge/dining room, basically the same as my flat! Anyway, one of Lucy's friends had put on a huge amount of food and drink for everyone which was pretty impressive when you consider that at least 25 people turned up!

[ As an aside, it just goes to show you how many trans people there are if that many turn up for one persons party ]

It was around midnight when we finally moved out of the apartment and onto a bar somewhere. I think by that point I was nicely merry and chatty and really haven't got much of a clue where I was going (not having been out in Brum - well the gay village bit - before). Think we went to the Loft and then on somewhere else.

I talked to lots of people and had a fantastic time. I even recall talking to a girl who was stood, looking rather depressed, waiting for her friend to finish some in-depth heart-to-heart with what seemed to be his current or maybe former partner. Anyway the poor girl looked so down-hearted that I bought her a drink. Turns out her boyfriend didn't want to come out so she was stranded waiting for her friend. I'm sure there are ways to 'pull' a girl in this situation but I have no idea what they are and I'm too nice anyway (this is not necassarily a good thing from my point of view!).

Also got dragged onto the dance floor by a person who shall remain nameless (but thanks anyway, I would never have got up there otherwise) and I don't think I fell over too much (though did feel a little wobbly) but probably still looked like a complete idiot.

Sadly the evening (well morning really, 4am!) did draw to a close and people wandered off and I found myself in bed (still always vaguely unsure of how exactly I get there but still not had any cause to suspect I had a good time in the process unfortunately!). I had a great time and talked to lots of fab people whose names, and maybe even faces I've forgotten (if you were one of them: sorry and thanks for chatting).

Saturday was spent recovering and shuffling round Brum - tried the slightly grungy, trainers-wearing look and really didn't like it at all! Live and learn. Sunday I was more awake and Lucy and I did some shopping - I bought a few watches and suspect I'm going to go mad for collecting these now as I got some really different looking designs and think they are fab!

Anyway lots of other stuff I could bore everyone with but I'll leave it at that. I was so sorry the weekend had to end because it was so much fun ... oh well, not long to the next one!

Flying as Fiona

Well I must have just had so much on my mind on the way out and so much of a hangover on the way back but the whole thing of flying to/from Dublin completely in my new idenity was totally uneventful and free from any problems.

One thing that did happen on the way back was that I set off the metal detector and had to be frisked - not a big deal since everyone seemed to be setting this particular one off and, in the past I've been randomly selected for extra checked before.

However, I did discover why they have a female security officer; when they frisk women they actually do check for the underwire in the bra so it's certainly a little more intimate that the male version. I was a little tired and hungover so I must have seemed a bit odd to say the least. In fact I wondered if they wondered whether someone would go to the extremes of dressing up to get the full female 'security' experience!

Anyway, no problems and everyone seemed to use the appropriate pronouns and I was treated fairly normally.

One thing I did notice was that people in Dublin seem to have less of a problem with overtly staring out you! It did getting annoying after a while so I actually starred back at someone which probably freaked her out - I try NOT to do this as I prefer to not make people feel uncomfortable so they come away from any encounter with a positive view rather than being creeped out.

Will write more about the weekend when I'm more awake - have only got one pic of me in my party dress which is a little disappointing but I'll post that tomorrow anyway. Time to chill out and try and get some sleep.

Drunk again

Well, it is gone 3am and I'm back for the work Christmas party and I talked to some wonderful people and ate some nice food and drank alot of wine. So all in all a really good Christmas party.

But, I am back in my hotel room with tears streaming down my face - why? Well partly alcohol-induced I guess I just feel lonely. I have no-one to come back to, no-one to share Christmas with, no-one to who fancies me or who thinks I am special.

Hmm, I could go on but it's self-indulgent self-pity really and I'm sure no-one really wants to read that.

I think the only think worth mentioning is that, while I can generally can keep things together on a day-to-day basis there comes a point when everything just gets too much - I've reached and past that point. This year can't end soon enough, it has been too painful and it seems to be coming to a close with more thing going adly wrong than I had expected,

F***, sh** ,,, I really don't have the energy for more comment.