Fat!

I should say first in relation to "fat", that a fat lot of use I've been at keeping this blog up to date! Seem to have be swamped with real life, which isn't entirely a bad thing, as well as concentrating on other websites and things instead.

Anyway.

I'm getting fat.

Well, technically I'm not actually putting any weight on, Wii fit tells me I'm exactly the same as I was several months ago (overweight then, BMI 27 I seem to recall, and still same now). However I seem to be continuing to increase in clothes size and had to buy some new jeans the other day since a few of the ones I have are now uncomfortable to wear.

I'm not *that* upset about it since my hips seem to be getting bigger as does my bum (well, I suppose it has to keep up with my hips really lol) but I just wish my boobs would join in the same game as well, I'm sure they must be feeling a little left out!

Will continue with the cycling and eating sensibly and just try and stay health and fit and let my body sort itself out into a shape it's comfortable with.

Finally Photo-processing

Just to boost Rachel's ego some more (not that it needs it at all) the above is one of the pictures I took while practising with the new lighting set I bought. Rachel didn't need much of an excuse to get herself made-up and looking sexy and was more than happy to pose, pout, and occasionally offer advice on how to get the best pictures.

I have actually got a rather large back-log of pictures of all types that need processing though today I've at least managed to make a significant dent in this. I should be finished by the weekend anyway and then I need to keep on top of any new pictures that come along.

The majority of the pictures are going to end up on deviantART as that will host the full resolution shots and also allows me to sell prints - once I get this all setup. The idea being to try and make a small amount of money out of photography which really is something I need to do given the amount I've invested in camera, lenses, lights, etc!

If anyone wants any photographs doing, let Rachel or I know :)

Empowerment Through Style

Friday night was the event that Rachel had organised at Stonegate Yard in York, "Empowerment Through Style" brought together several independent, local, boutiques as well as the Body Shop, to show how feeling good about yourself isn't always about fashion but simply putting together your own look that you can be confident about. My friend Jen (see earlier post with her posing in a red corset!), very kindly, offered to act as a model for clothes and make-up (the picture above is Saskia from the Body Shop doing her make-up which looked amazing!).

We all had alot of fun, the clothes, as provided by One (Responsibly Gorgeous Clothing) were fantastic (so much so that Jen actually bought the outfit she was wearing) and everyone mingled and had a good chat. One thing that really stands out in my mind was trying on the corsets that Sarah from Elizabeth Wells had brought along. They did look fab but I wasn't initially thinking of actually having a go myself but I'm so glad I did!

I should say first of all that this isn't the best picture of me, nor of the corsets that Sarah sells, in fact I'll add a second picture below of Hannah who looks so much better than me anyway and utterly amazing in the gorgeous white corset (I tried this on as well but no pictures of that unfortunately).

The black corset I'm wearing isn't full size, though it's slightly on the large size for me apparently (didn't feel like it) and Sarah didn't fasten it very (relatively) tightly but it still did give me more of a figure and actually was very comfortable. Yes, I know that doesn't sound right but really I didn't feel like I couldn't breath or that I was being painfully squashed, it felt fine and also made me sit straighter and with much better posture. It also made me feel pretty good as well.

Trying on the full size white corset was amazing! I wasn't brave enough to do this will no t-shirt or bra on, which I should really have done, and I've kind of regretted that as it would have been fantastic. I am definitely going to get a proper fitting and try on a few different corsets when I get the time (and the money) to do that. Really I'm not sure how to describe how good I felt with the corset on - it's not anything kinky (though I can fully understand why people like them for that reason) it just feels really amazing to have that shape and feeling of being so poised, stylish, feminine I guess. And it affected everyone there, loads of people wanted to try them on and everyone was thrilled once they did. Really I haven't got the words to describe it!

Anyway, a fantastic night was had by all and I really hope Rachel organises something similar, only bigger, better, and starting sooner and finishing later, sometime soon!

Out and Out in Paris and London

I'm sorry, that is a really pathetic pun on the book Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell that I vaguely remember reading for English at school. I just couldn't resist the blog post title as, with the visit to a lesbian bar in Paris and then the brief look in The FairyGothMother shop it did feel like a bit of an 'out' weekend.

As I mentioned, the reason for being in London for some considerable time was because our train back wasn't until 10pm so we had some time to kill, which always sounds rather wasteful and, in fact we made good use of the time by meeting up with Misae Richwoods who I'd got chatting to on Twitter (@minxymoggy). She'd suggested meeting at Spitalfields Market which is somewhere neither Rachel and I had been before but once we got there we wished we'd known about it before.

Basically Rachel was in hog's heaven as the place is packed full of the latest bleeding edge style with market stalls for designers to sell their own creations. It really was quite inspiring and I wish I'd had the money left after the holiday to afford several things that I saw!

Anyway, I think Rachel managed to chat to quite a few people about photography and we also had some valuable help and advice from Misae as well as all three of us having a really nice meal and a few cocktails to boot (Happy hours is fantastic). Will have to head over there again when next time I'm down in London and maybe this time get to spend some money on some fantastic clothes.

Dressing up!

I don't really remember doing much dressing up when I was little, I maybe did go through that usual phase when I was very young but it's not something I can recall. I do have fairly clear memories of NOT wanting to dress-up and being quite embarrassed about costumes and the like, certainly I never went to any fancy dress parties!

But things do change and access to a rather interesting wardrobe of 'dressing-up' clothes, courtesy of Rachel (items she's used on photoshoots before) and of course her, armed with camera, to record the results, has opened up quite alot of possibilities! The picture below being an example of this:
My friend Jen came round on Friday night, originally for a girlie night in that was to include food, endless chatting and equally limitless alcohol. Rachel and I had been talking about photoshoots to Jen and we just suggested we could do a few pics to practice ...

... well that's when it got out of hand! We essentially turned the sitting room into a studio with proper lighting (those big lightboxes you see on the pro shoots, wish I'd got a picture of the setup it looked very impressive). The pictures here are just a few samples, most were taken of Jen on her own (she's alot more photogenic than me) and I'll add a link to those once Rachel has processed them properly (they will likely be on the Random Acts Webzine so keep an eye on that).

For anyone who is a little scared of having their picture taken I have to say this: don't be! It is, once you get into it, sooooo much fun! Really just go for it! A good photographer like Rachel will be happy to work with you to get what you want and delete images you really aren't happy with, or, if you want it, do a little touch up work in PhotoShop if that makes you happier :)

Really, and truly, a photoshoot is fantastic fun!

Silver (black actually) lining

My posts have been a bit doom-and-gloom of late so I thought I'd try and even things up a bit with a little positive news.

Wandering around Canary Wharf on Sunday and we came to the shops under 1 Canada Square and happened to look in the Window of Hobbs, there I saw the most fabulous black, velvet, full-length coat (ably modeled by the headless plastic mannequin to the left).

Didn't think it would fit, it did (beautifully), didn't think I could afford it, I can't ... but got it anyway!

Not wearing it until the Christmas party and treating it with a certain degree of reverence because it was expensive, and I do think it is something special and I want to be VERY careful about looking after it properly so I can have the same fabulous and perfect feeling I had, when I tried it on in the shop, time and time again. I'll try and get some pictures of myself modeling the coat a the rest of my Christmas outfit after the party tomorrow.

Gravitational effect on fat distribution

I haven't been keeping up with the blog posts so I've not really been able to write down all the things I've been going through and the bizarre thoughts and feelings that I've been experiencing. As ever things have been a bit of a roller-coaster ride but that is fairly normal under the circumstances.

I've been trying to sort out how I look recently, getting better make-up (my skin type has changed a bit and I guess I needed a different shade of foundation also), wearing the right bra, and trying to use the clothes that I have as well as supplementing these with items that make complete outfits.

Essentially I think I'm trying to learn, experiement and above all be realistic about life and get things sorted out to move forward (I've also been trying to do the same with my finances and flat and ... well, now I come to think of it, everything).

As part of that I decided to try and make myself look a bit, well, I was going to say 'glam' but I guess I was aiming for 'sexy' or more realisticly 'womanly'. Also managed to buy a remote control for my camera (makes it easier to take pics of yourself!) and wanted to try that out. Below is the results of my efforts:


There are a few other pics that came out quite well but could maybe do with a bit of selective cropping. I think I also need an editing tool that makes me smile in pictures because I very rarely do! Hmmm, in fact I think my pics go from one extreme to another; no smiling or laughing out loud!

I should point out that I took about an hour to do the make-up, and took about 100 shots so clearly I'm not going to be trying to look like this every day!

Anyway, this brings me to my new theory: "the graviational effects on fat distribution", also known as "why have I got a fat bum".

I have noticed over the recent months that I do have quite a big bum. It did probably start off on the fairly large size and hormones have probably taken their toll but I never really saw this as much of a problem before. However yesterday I wore a skirt that I usually wear for work and it seemed a little tight in the bum area, not overly so but it did start me thinking.

So today my thoughts wandered back to this, erm, problem and it occurred to me that I'm clearly in the wrong kind of job to avoid having a big bum given that I spend so much time sat on mine and there must be some mechanical effects there based on the weight of my body being supported by my posterior! It also occurred to me that all the fat must be getting pulled by gravity towards my bum as well!

In fact, if it's not careful it's going to get it's own gravity and that could start a chain reaction which woul ultimately lead to me disappearing into a singularity created by an overly J-Lo'ed bottom. Or possibly I'm just getting carried away here lol

Not sure about this new outfit ...

You can find all sorts of things when you hit the charity shops. I was introduced to shopping for clothes this way by Deborah and so far I've always managed to find things that are quite impressive in terms of labels, condition, cost, etc.

I wasn't really convinced at first as I've always been a bit of a snob and maybe just not adventurous enough, but in the current economic climate and my situation it seems like a good move. Also every charity shop excursion so far has turned up clothes that I've really liked and have worn so it's clearly a successful way to shop!

Anyway, I spotted this outfit on Saturday and something about it just grabbed my attention and I had to get it! The size of the jacket/skirt was just right and well it just seemed too good to miss ... however I'm really not sure it's me nor have I any idea when I am going to get to wear it!
Certainly it's different to everything else I wear and it's going to need a bit of tweaking to get the right look - for example I'm not sure about those boots with it! Hmmm, definitely not my normal attire, really not sure about this at all!

What to wear

I was just thinking about what I wear and how I select the clothes, make-up, hair (though that has a mind of it's own), shoes, etc every day.

One thing I do still do is kind of latch onto ideas and then go on a shopping spree for that one thing, e.g. recently I decided I wanted to wear skirts to work more often but didn't have many that were suitable so I went and bought three in one go. I wore one yesterday and I'm back to trousers today!

So why the change? Well I wasn't happy with how I looked yesterday as it didn't really work how I had expected it to do, really needed to re-group and try again!

Which leads to another method of selection: going for things that I'm comfortable with and I think have worked before, e.g. I like the trousers I'm wearing today as they fall nice and the blouse is one of my favorite silk ones in purple (I like purple) and it's also pretty expensive.

Yes, snob value can also be a selection criteria; if there is something that was expensive I can feel better in it if my confidence is a bit low.

Sometimes though I guess I go a bit OTT and that is because, when it comes down to it, one of the main reasons behind my choices is to try and overcome the doubt in my head and lack of confidence.

I cracked!

I hadn't bought anything for ages, not a single thing, not so much as a lipstick! This is (was) a good thing as I really need to save money and cut-back completely on the the mad clothes shopping so that I can afford to live/eat/rent/etc.

But it couldn't last forever (particularly as my entire wardrobe is not with me at the moment) and I had to buy SOMETHING! The desire to spend was not helped by the fact I'd already seen what I wanted to buy in Tesco's (yeah, okay, I know, not exactly fashion central or anything but some of their stuff is okay).

So I ended up buying two skirts, one red, one black (high-waisted), and two tops, the first cream/white linen (goes with the red skirt) and the second a brown colour, slightly see-through. Sadly didn't have time/opportunity for pictures so I'll have to do some of those when I move in and have the full wardrobe to mix-and-match with!

Ooops!

One of the hazards of the jet-set TGirl life-style (read this as: constantly having to work away as all the big projects are far away from the quiet North West idyll in which I live) is that I'm constantly lugging a rather large amount of clothes, shoes, make-up and other assorted essentials for life around the world.

This also means that, when return visits home are brief, there isn't time for a good stock check of the things in the multitude of suitcases and invariably it's often easier to simply do the laundry and then add any extra's that I know I was missing on the previous trip ... or just some new things that I want to wear ... or that I desperately need to match with another outfit ... or that may vaguely be needed on the off-chance that I buy something new ...

The result: LOTS of stuff.

Another result that I just encountered this morning: lack of any normal 'bob-mode' clothes!

That's right, I packed so much girlie wear that I don't have any boring bob-mode jeans to wear to work for the usual casual Friday attire! OOOOOooops!

Thankfully I have a pair for fairly normal coloured/styled boot-cut jeans that, don't stand out too much and are only noticeable if you look quite closely at my bum (pretty detail on the pockets) and the front zipper which is obviously the wrong (will I think it's right) way round!

So I will be on the look out today for people staring at my bum or zipper!

New pictures finally uploaded

I spent a few fun hours getting dressed up in all the new outfits (actually I did miss out a few new items like the new shoes I got, will have to take pics of those at a later date) I bought over the weekend and I've finally managed to upload them all to Flickr - the hotel internet was unbelievably sloooooowwwww!

So, have a look at my Flickr Pics and let me know what you think!