Monday, 23 June 2008

Song association

Just had a thought about the music I was listening to, "Wishing That" by Jann Arden, and it reminded me that I'm still trying to find a way to reconcile 'normal' romantic or emotional lyrics and maybe even the feelings I associate with them to what is essentially something I might not view even now as my non-normal life.

In a nutshell, not many people I know write songs with TG people in mind, you don't have romantic ballads about a woman falling in love with her transgendered husband while (s)he's wearing some glittery dress, "Dancing Queen" isn't (to the best of my knowledge) actually about a dancing Queen (though I'm pretty sure it is hijacked to fabulous affect in manyt clubs) ... it's just hard for me to think in terms of normal romance and love when faced with everything about me ... or even just part of me for that matter.

It reminded me that I use to feel that new music that I bought was somewhat tainted by the fact that I might be dressing at the time. I use to buy a new CD (the irony in the acronym) having purged everything and feel that this was pure and uplifting and would help me forget about all of the "other" stuff and that I could feel normal in some way. It was almost a case of counting the dressing free days and feeling guilty when I finally cracked as well as then not viewing the music I was listening to as special anymore.

Thankfully I've forgotten what was "tainted" now and it's probably unimportant anyway as what I listen to generally always changes and moves forwards so I hardly listen to most of my old CDs anyway. And maybe I can start to associate songs more positively and with less prejudice.

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