Apathy

You know how the joke goes, I was going to write about apathy but I couldn't be bothered. In some ways that is how I feel, uninspired to write anything as there isn't anything sufficiently interesting or upsetting to impart.

I read that one of the positive effects of taking spiroaldactone is that it can give you a feeling of well-being, I think this is inline with how people report feeling better once taking estrogen as well, I guess it's a hormone thing. This could be why I feel relatively relaxed or it could be simply that I'm just accepting more of what is happening and coming to terms with it.

In some ways it's disappointing as I seemed to have spent alot of time trying to sort my head out, then working on getting the treatment I need, and now there is a calm and somewhat boring period while I simply wait for the hormones to take affect and for my life to develop.

There are still lots of things for me to deal with but I guess I've just become a little complacent and am just reverting to my chilled-out self, running with a high level of optimism and denial as usual, almost like being in a dream. The reality is that I seriously need to sort out my voice, my life and my weight!

The last one is particularly worrying if I stop and think about it - I have put on quite a bit of weight and I have a huge appetite. I've just had to tear myself away from the fridge as I was going to grab some cheese or a bun with some flora on it, or I was even considering the bacon or burgers. I was also just tempted to eat the sandwiches I was making for tomorrow and my mouth is watering just writing about it all. I would blame the heat but that is meant to make you feel less hungry, I suspect it's all the medication. It's going to be hard to stick to a diet AND lose the weight I have.

So, where am I really? I guess I'm just meandering which I suppose is good, life could be so much worse, but then again, I think I need to seriously do something to make some more progress, otherwise, what was the point of all the pain and hurt that I, and others close to me, have already been through?

The Drug Weather Report

(the title of the post is inspired by, i.e. plagarised from, a sketch of the same name by the comedy group Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie - also on Wikipedia)

I won't even attempt to be as funny as the aforementioned sketch as this is simply an update on what I'm taking at the moment.

A week or so ago I went to see my GP to update her on my latest trip to Dr Curtis (I'm essentially acting as a post-woman in delivering the letter from him to her) and also to get prescriptions for more hormones and the spironolactone as well. No problems in getting these though my GP suggested a blood test after a week rather than the month that Dr Curtis had mentioned just as a precaution since this drug can increase potassium levels quite alot and that is a risk factor (anyone considering self-medication take note!).

Anyway I've been on the spironolactone for over a week now and haven't really noticed any significant affects, good or bad, though obviously the positive changes do take some time to happen. From what I read the drug can take over two weeks to actually start to act so it's early days yet. Should get my blood results next week which should hopefully provide some reassurance that it's not having any negative affect.


Oh, I should also mention that one of the affects of this drug is to lower blood pressure, mine is actually quite low anyway (my Dad has actually suffered some problems because of this) so that obviously something to keep an eye on.

Cheeky?

I bought some new stainless steel pans today which shouldn't really be a big deal but which I was quite excited about as I was getting fed up of the cheap and nasty ones I had that claimed to be non-stick but which had now started to rust!

Anyway I only got a cheap set of Morphy Richards pans from Argos and was quite impressed that they came with a 10year guarantee! I thought I best read the care details and was rather amused by the last paragraph!

Fathers day

Just had my son come over (obviously brought by his mum I hasten to add) to bring me my fathers day gifts which consisted of Jelly Babies, card and a cool container thingy with a plastic fork and little tub for sauce. I thought that was fab!

Face up to it!

This was just a random thing I thought of while pondering what else to write and it triggered a memory of something that's bugged me for a while.

I don't get alot of online attention (thankfully ... though slightly disappointingly at the same time) but I do get the odd one or two who simply don't have a picture or it's something completely obscure.

Here's the deal: there is absolutely no chance at all for me to take anyone really seriously if they don't have the courage to have a real picture. I don't believe I'm particularly brave but now I at least and being honest enough to show me as me.

It bugs me when I get friends requests or other messages from anonymous users on Facebook with no real picture. Showing myself as me takes an awful lot of effort, the least anyone else could do is be equally honest when trying to contact me.

Rant over.

[ Update: Having re-read this I don't think it's entirely clear that I'm talking about Facebook here and specifically Facebook users who solicit attention yet don't provide an honest picture of themselves ]