So many things today

I crammed alot into today and it's only at the end of it that I realise how stressed I was about everything and that and plans of being cool, collected, and organised generally go out of the window when faced with reality.

The main event for today was going to Transform for a free consultation regarding facial hair removal. Why would I do this to myself you might ask, well I'm making a bit of a mess of my face trying to shave all the hairs away and still it has that horrible darker shaded look (which in my eyes looks almost like Homer Simpson) which means it's really hard to hide with make-up.

Anyway, I got there and was asked all the standard details and medical questions then got a patch test to check what my skins reaction to the treatment would be. The machine that's meant to magically get rid of all the facial hair (as long as it doesn't get "confused"*) uses a LightSheer(TM) Laser, basically it's meant to burn the hairs out and cauterize the root so it doesn't grow back. Put even more simply it's a reasonably high powered diode laser with a frequency of light that the pigment in hair absorbs but that the skin won't - if you have light skin (I do, in fact milk-bottles are ethnically coloured compared to me) and dark hair it's meant to work really well.

[ * - The girl** explaining all this kept referring to the machine as if it was actually selecting the hairs to zap. It might be for all I know but I suspect what it more likely is it just turns the laser on for a set time and whatever is in the way gets fried!]
[ ** - I really should find out how you refer to someone who does this sort of thing; beautician? Operator? Girl simply as she looked vastly younger than me and had amazing skin, eyes, teeth, etc - okay, last bit isn't surprising given where she works ]

The pain. Well it wasn't that bad actually, the girl had it on a very high setting and I hardly felt a thing on my neck where she was doing the test, just very faint pin-like sensation. She then moved onto the side of my jaw where there were some hairs to zap and that was a little more prickly in fact one of the hairs 'exploded'. She'd explained that this could happen when it really hit a good target and it burns the hair so fast that it pops out. Apparently this happened at the very high setting which is good - more zapping and hopefully not too much pain though I'm told that the upper lip hurts more so I suspect I'm in for some discomfort.

The cost for full face, which takes only 15mins, is £105 - just chin and upper lip is £95 so for the extra £10 I think it's worth getting the lot done. It can take up to 7 treatments to make it fully effective and each is 4-6weeks apart. I was told that some people can have noticeable results in fewer treatments and also more may be required after a complete course maybe every 6 month if there is any significant re-growth.

I've booked my first session of treatment in a couple of weeks time and I'm hopeful that it'll have the desired affects with maybe less the the full 7 sessions, and that it won't hurt *that* much. If by some miracle it actually zaps enough of the hairs to make some difference before Sparkle I'd be over the moon!

The other thing I did today was go over and see a (male) friend of mine who I've known since school and who (for reasons of timing and also problems in his life) hadn't been burdened with the full explanation of why my wife and I were splitting up i.e. I'd not told him about this blog or anything like that.

As if the day wasn't stressful enough I'd had this idea of wearing some ankle boots, jeans and a shirt as a kind of semi-femme outfit, i.e. the boots and jeans would be from the Fiona wardrobe but maybe not the shirt (very Shania Twain: "Man's shirt, short skirt ..." etc). Anyway I couldn't really find a shirt that really gave me the right look that I was after (I think my figure, face, and everything else let me down) but I pressed ahead with the boots and jeans anyway.

I'd also thought it would be a kind of cool way to introduce the whole TG thing as well; "I best just explain these boots first of all" was what I imagined myself saying. It didn't come out like that at all and I mumbled something that he didn't hear and then just ploughed on in a torrent of explanation that did eventually make some sense but only because I was repeating myself as well as just basically saying everything in my head.

I've probably totally stunned the poor guy and freaked him out completely when we went out for a quick lunch (nice cafe nearby) though I have to say he hid it well and we just ended up talking about the usual range of subjects that we've discussed before.

As the day progressed (I did wrote about the above in the wrong order, saw my friend first and then to Transform) I kind of got use to wearing the boots and not thinking about what people thought; did a bit of shopping, wandered around Asda, the around town a bit, even past a pub with lots of loud and clearly at least slightly drunk guys outside. No real problems or reactions that I heard or saw.

So at the end of the day how do I feel? Well I bit nothingy really, kind of numb and unable to really take it all in, everything just kind of happened without me really being in control. Kind of like an anti-climax as well, I think I was expecting to feel some sense of achievement or euphoria or an extra femme-rush from wandering around in boots all day.

Part of this lack of feeling I think is tiredness and dehydration; it was quite warm out there today and hardly had anything to drink (going to bed shortly with a big drink). I think another part of it may be just the fact that I have wandered around in boots before and have had all the same sort of feelings so it's almost like I'm just doing what I want to do so there is no need for euphoria. One thought I am holding onto is the fact that I wanted to wearing boots/jeans/etc, I actually felt that I would be disappointed in myself if I didn't. It's only a subtle thing but I feel that it's something important and will hopefully drive me to do more tomorrow.

Time for a nice big, cold, drink and off to bed!