Monday, 2 November 2009

Moving on up ...

Well, it's been a very hectic time recently, hence the lack of posts, and this weekend in particular has been so busy and frenetic that, while it would have been good to get my thoughts down, I simply haven't had a spare second.

It's meant to be a commonly accepted fact that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do but I think I have either been lucky or oblivious with the previous experiences so I suspect things caught up with me this time.

There was so much stuff to move and I think the trip I did this weekend was really just the bits and pieces that are possibly only a few steps away from junk. I don't know what it is, but I'm feeling the need to rid myself of all but things I consider essential. I got rid of a whole load of old computers and parts that I was simply never going to use. I'm seriously considering dumping all of my old university notes as well; yes there is some nostalgia there but I'm never going to refer to them every again so why keep them.

In fact keeping all this junk and having to move it was really getting to me. I think there are a few reasons for this, like the one above, but also I suspect that it reminds me too much of how I was; I use to hide behind all the gadgetry and fake nostalgia and geekiness and I don't want to be like that anymore. Yes, I am a geek/nerd, but I'm not that sad that I need to horde junk.

I also think the whole moving away and lack of familiar surroundings, proximity to family, and just general huge change in my life was also building up inside me. It really has been a massive impact and the emotion and confusion was totally unexpected. I was in tears twice over the weekend, snapped at Rachel, and was generally unhappy, unstable, and not myself at all. It was horrible really.

Having a house that is still full of unpacked boxes piled in the sitting room hasn't helped but this morning I've started to see some light at the end of the tunnel and I think we're both less stressed and feeling happier.

I guess this is a very rambling post but what I'm trying to convey is the fact that such a large upheaval in my life is something that, given who and what I am now, is something that was hard to cope with and it will take me a while to get back to feeling 'normal' and 100% happy.

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