Friday, 25 September 2009

The Elephant in the room

I'm not entirely sure where I heard this phrase first or who it was that mentioned it but I know it was in the context of a transgender discussion and I suspect it is something that is referred to quite alot.

Over the past few weeks I've had cause to contemplate this phrase numerous times when I consider the number of interactions I've had with people where there could indeed be alot of things that go unsaid or unasked. In some ways it's good that these things have remained that way, there should be no need to refer to me being trans since it has no real affect on my skills, intelligence, abilities, etc. Then again there is the nagging feeling that by trying to ignore such a big issue only makes others more uncomfortable.

My approach before has generally to try and be open and honest and maybe even go completely over-the-top by enthusiastically pointing out the elephant and describing it in, sometimes excrutiating, detail. Now I don't feel that need to do that nor do I want to be that explicit about intimate information about myself with people on a face-to-face basis (this blog is fine, I'm sure most people have got bored of reading it now lol).

So I guess that I'm going to have to learn to live with this large elephant in the room for a while because I think that is the best approach now, I know if I do point it out both of us are going to feel embarassed and in some ways just knowing that I have my large, grey, friend with me gives me some comfort and strength. I think I do still need to put people at their ease as well so I propose to get a little friend for my elephant:

which will hopefully make everyone smile at the three of us.

P.S. Suggestions of *original* names for this, and his larger friend would be very much appreciated. Obvious aliterations are to be avoided!

1 comment:

GirlWhoShould said...

I tend to think Lucy or Haylie are very good names to use ;) trunkz, trunky I really hope you've had better ideas elsewhere btw.
As for the metaphorical one i'm sure it'll decrease over time as for the present its a toughie i would probably do very much the same.
Lucy x