Monday, 2 November 2009

A Place In My Heart

The title refers to a song by T'Pau which is pertinent to how I've been feeling recently given the move so far away from the place and people that I called home.

I heard something on Radio 4, can't remember the programme, but they were discussing break-ups and in particular adultery I think. They read out a letter from a man who had had an affair with his wife's friend with whom he is still in a relationship with. Obviously this resulted in his wife divorcing him and, I suspect, a rather hellish time for all concerned.

One thing this person wanted to point out though was that, while he is happy with his new partner, he still does feel the loss of his wife, home, family, and life. It's obviously very easy to see any situation as black and white, good and bad, but the reality is that things are rarely that clear-cut. You can't help feeling some emotion over any split and I don't think it really is just a simple matter of stopping caring about an ex-partner.

In some ways I do think that how things seem to have to be is not how anyone would really want them. I don't think losing someone from your life almost completely is what they would choose even if it is the only way to avoid being hurt. In the long-run I'm not sure that the practical option really feels like the right choice in the end. It is frankly horrible to have to lose a relationship and friendship so utterly, I wish things didn't have to be this way.

"I wish you all you could want for yourself,
May the road rise up to meet you as you go your way,
If you ever need a friend,
You just call me up and then, I will run to help you, come what may"

"... You see the love I had, it never went away.
It's such a shame when people change,
Someone has to pay"

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