Catching up

Just a quick post before I go to bed and hopefully the ones tomorrow will be a little more positive after a good nights sleep and some quiet reflection.

A lot has obviously happened over the past few weeks and months and I think, given everything, I've done remarkably well to stay unbelievably cheerful and positive and sooner or later everything was bound to get on top of me.

It is easy to fool others, and yourself, that everything is fine and there is nothing you need or are worrying about. But it's not easy to do that constantly, it eventually catches up with you and just needs something to push you over the metaphorical edge and things get too much.

I do have a few things lurking around in the back of my mind that I'm worried or confused about and have just not been facing up to. The thing that has added to my worries is the realisation the fact that today, after visiting my son (to give him his birthday presents), my parents would not be travelling the 2miles from his home to mine to pop in and see me.

I know it only sounds like a minor thing but imagine how you would feel if you were actually shunned by your closest family, the people who you thought would love and care about you no matter what.

I think I am probably too tired now to even consider my feelings, let alone describe them. I hope sleep will help bring some peace and order to my thoughts.