Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Don't know where to start

I've really got behind with blogs and uploading of pictures. Everything seems to have been so busy lately and I just haven't had time to sit down and write anything. There is quite alot I need to write though. The divorce is reaching it's conclusion, I'm also getting to the point where transition gets a little more difficult that just taking pills, my relationship with my parents continues to be 'interesting', and there is so much more to consider seriously now when almost everything seems to have been dealt with. I maybe have the space to consider reality, even if I don't seem to have the spare time to do that.

From a practical point of view, I'm going to start putting all my pictures in galleries on my website, currently the 'beta' version of this is here but it'll eventually move to the main site itself. Full-sized images will still be available on my deviantART page and I'm now generating prints on there which you can buy (the site handles all the purchasing/printing and I get a small royalty - am going to try buying my own prints to see how it works later).

I really do need to get more organised at this as the photography continues at a rapid pace. I've now spent a significant amount on kit and really should be able to produce some impressive photographs and actually start to do something serious about this rather than just mucking around aimlessly. More importantly I've got ALOT to learn and I need/want to do that quickly.

I'm beginning to realise that my seemingly endless spending and obsession with things like photography and otehr gadgetry really is linked to my state of mind and other issues. It's becoming apparent that I really do shop because I'm unhappy and that I've got lots of things to resolve and deal with (including reining back the spending obviously).

There's lots I need to write about the relationship with my son aswell. The other day I stated, quite categorically that I didn't have much of a plan in life, I then found myself thinking, some time later, that I really need to fix that. I need a goal of, for example, seeing my son more and living closer too him, or even just putting even more effort into making sure that we have a strong relationship; as it is I always get the feeling that I'm missing out on so much and becoming less relevant to his life. Not nice.

1 comment:

GirlWhoShould (Lucy) said...

When I'm unhappy I go shopping during one prologued spell the record and clothing shops of Cardiff, where I was at the time did very well :). Even as someone who drifts I think having a plan is good I can only comment as a child who experienced a separation not as a parent but I see someone who is fostering a great bond with their son and still there for him. Obviously it goes without saying i'm glad the photography is going so well.
Lucy x