Tuesday, 28 April 2009


This was the event of the year, something I had been looking forward to for a while and which turned out to be just as fun and more than I expected. In some ways it was a suggestion from B that I have my son for my Birthday weekend and do something fun, in this case it was decided by all concerned that Legoland qualified as LOTS of fun!

(I did actually get better pictures than this but I don't like the idea of putting up pics of my son on such a public page).

We drove down to Windsor on the Friday morning, actually manged to set off at a reasonable hour and only stopped once (due to too many delays and needing the loo). Didn't even stop for lunch as by the time we got onto the M40 (where I'd said we'd stop) my son was asleeep (awww bless) so I just carried on going - gobbled a little bit of lunch when we got to the hotel room.

Over to Legoland on the Friday for the last few hours of the park being open - it's great just being able to wander in like this when you have those annual passes! All we really did was have a little look around and visit the shop! My son was being very good about what Lego to buy - we'd said it had to be a normal kit so he could build different things and, after a few tears, he agreed to that and a little Power Miners one as well (he was sooo good on the way down he deserved it).

Went back and hd some tea and played with the Lego and then straight to bed. Up early in the morning, quick snack for breakfast and then into the park first thing and onto the ride we'd *really* wanted to go on which was the Viking one - basically where you get soaks by water; thankfully it was a warm and dry day and the wet clothes were soon back to normal!

Also went on the fire engines ride which involved my pumping handles up and down to a) move the fire engine from start to the house, b) spray water at the house, c) move back to the start! I was shattered!

We had a little more of a wander round - my son really likes the model village still and is fascinated by the boats, trains, and cars that all move around. And then went over to watch the show at the pool, "Johnny Thunder and the Aztec Queen" - seen it before but he still likes it! One of the helpers there came over and asked if my son wanted to help with playing the drums (they have a few kids do this before the main show, it's kinda cute and the children obviously love it). I was a bit nervous, really don't like not having my son within my sight (it's a paranoid parent thing), but he really enjoyed it and kept mentioning it! Also he was happy when the people in the show all walked past where we were sitting so he got to say hello and high-five them!

After another trip to the Lego shop (well he had been soooo good again, and it was his money to spend) we headed into Windsor where I had a brief little shop (got a fab jacket in the Phase Eight sale - spent my birthday money), had a ride on a boat (saw an Otter), and had McDonalds for tea. Back to the hotel for an early night - both of us were very tired.

Had a nice breakfast in the morning and a clear run all the way back home. Another fab weekend which I really didn't want to end.

Bakewell Tart?

I'm really behind on all the blog posts so I'm going to try and rapidly catch up with what's been happening over the last few weeks and then stay on top of the updates so that I can write a little more coherently and actually say something relatively interesting than forgetting all the things that I've been doing/thinking!

Anyway, closely on the heels of the day out at Tatton Park was another in the Derbyshire countryside for the Easter Monday bank holiday including having a quick wander around Bakewell as well as queuing to get in, park, and then to get chips (you wouldn't believe the number of people wanting to get food, the place was packed, all places had huge lines of hungry people waiting outside!).

Saw a few other attractions while there and the weather was really nice and sunny and warm. Probably shouldn't have left the trip to Poole's Cavern until the end of the day as it was *really* cold in there!

This is Lucy's new friend at one of the attractions we went to (can't quite remember where this was). I have no idea why Lucy wanted to pose with the plastic penguin or why she apparently wanted to take it home! I'm just thankful that she didn't try!

Equally I have no idea of the significance of the picture on the wall or why on earth we both have photos next to it, I guess it's just something that has to be done on a day out in the sun (that rhymes :D ).

The caves were quite nice but it's really difficult to get decent pictures in the gloom unless you have a proper flash and a fair bit of patience. I think this one is the best I could manage and ultimately it's not very interesting - I think Tatton Park or similar with nice bright colours and sunshine is better for getting good pics :D

Anyway, it was a fantastic day out and really must do more things like this and learn how to take better photos as well!

Friday, 10 April 2009

Wot you lookin' at?

No don't worry no trauma here, just a few observations, that's all! We had an unofficial works night out last night and, due to pressures of money (lack thereof), convenience, and the fact that I'm seeing my son today, I decided not to drink and just drove into town. Actually had a really fun night and was able to really see what was going on around me, remember it, and now comment.

[ Note: Anyone from work, don't worry, all secrets safe ... even the antics of a certain person who got impressively drunk :) ]

We stayed in one pub for most of the time I was out (left about 12) and there seemed to be the same crowd in there for most of the night so I think the first thing I noticed as that no-one really seemed to look at me. I guess I maybe got some looks from most people but after a while they were just obviously not bothered. This is, and really should be, the normal reaction from anyone: yes, I know I look different and I'm not that naive that I think I blend in, but I should still rate as "harmless" and "of no further interest" after a few looks.

Given we were sat at a table right in the route for the toilets I really didn't spot that many long, uncomfortable stares, again all good. There were however some people who did look a little bit two long. Nothing scary nothing that really got to me but, in one case at least noticeable by some of my colleagues who declared that I had an admirer.

Now if someone wants to eye me up that's fine, I'll even talk to anyone that is very pleasant and curteous. However, that's a far as it goes because, as I had to explain a few times that night, I'm not interested in guys, only girls, which makes me gay/lesbian by definition.

I honestly don't mind having to explain this because as evidenced by a) the supposed admirers, b) the assumption by my colleagues, and c) general on-line comments, advances, etc it is only natural to conclude that a woman wants to be with men, since I am a woman (or becoming one at least) therefore that's my preference. It's a perfectly natural conclusion to draw so if anyone is thinking it, don't worry, no big deal.

So why girls and not guys? Well, like alot of this stuff, it's just who I am, it's things built into my body and mind because of genetics, hormones (maybe not the current ones but the levels I had before), maybe even a little bit of socialisation and personal experience thrown in as well. I also suspect that it may have something to do with my past as well; I've spent the last few years trying desperately to get rid of a body I don't want and to make it look and feel how it should, so in some ways I'm totally biased against all the things I've wanted to change.

Hmmm, was just putting the labels on this post and came up with "Watching" which was a TV series in the late 80s early 90s. Anyone remember that?

Oh and one final point (since anyone from work has probably stopped reading this now): boobs (aka the girls) are still growing but not as fast as I'd want (obviously) and *still* hurt (this is meant to be a good think but doesn't feel it when my son accidently puts his elbow in them! Need extra padding).

Monday, 6 April 2009

Tatton Park

Since I'm now trying to sort my money out and steer clear of places like the Trafford Centre to avoid running up even move credit card debt Lucy and I decided to do something 'free' or at least 'cheap' on Sunday. We were going to have a wander round some of the local Chorley scenary but Tatton Park seemed like a better location given the fab weather.

It was a *really* good day out. Got to have a nice lunch (love lemon shortbread ... though should have maybe avoided that to stick to my diet!), had a good chat about all sorts of stuff and also had a wonderful wander (excuse the alliteration) around the gardens and took a very large number of photos, alot of which seemed to come out *really* well.

[ I'm wondering if I should do a photography course so that I can get more repeatable and conciously good photos rather than relying on luck and a camera to fo the work ]

I've uploaded a selection of the photos to Picassa (as well as them being on Facebook as well) and will add the full images (the ones about are scaled to only 720x480) once I've had a proper sort through them.

Definitely looking forward to another photographic trip or anything that just involves getting out in the sun and fresh air - it's a really nice way to spend the time and certainly better on the bank balance than the more shop-centric activites!

What a difference a day makes ...

... or maybe a few days, and a fantastic weekend. Another appropriate aphorism would be "it is always darkest before the dawn". Essentially last week was horrible, not a pleasant time at all, but thankfully, things did get much better and the last few days have been amazing.

Last week was bad for several reasons; lack of access to my son, feeling down that I couldn't see my family, severe lack of money (my credit card debts having finally caught up with me), extra cost for my car repairs (every day seemed to bring more things that required fixing), and just generally lack of confidence and happiness in my life.

I guess the first thing to change was that my parents offered to help with covering the cost of the car repairs. That meant so much and was obviously a great load off my mind. While I don't use my car alot I do need it every now and then and there is no way I could afford to get another one and really didn't want to given that there was nothing really wrong with this one; everything that it needed was servicing/wear and tear, no actual faults.

Lucy had also said she was going to come up for the weekend to cheer me up and that was definitely something good to look forward to! So as the end of the week approached I was feeling a little more positive.

Then B phoned on Saturday morning saying my son wanted to come over in the afternoon and play a computer game I'd just got for him! It was actually my son that I spoke to (really hard to understand on the phone, bless him) which was fab! It was so good to see him and be able to spend some time with him and just be a parent.

Ironically, when he noticed the stars I'd put on the ceiling (more about that another time) and that Lucy was coming over (he's not met her but is nevertheless excited at meeting anyone new) he then wanted to stay over! After all the troubles of him being concerned about sleeping over places he seemed to be actively asking to do that! Kids!

Anyway, after that, Lucy, wine, trip to Tatton Park (again, more on that later), lots of chatting and just having my BFF (Best Friend Forever in case anyone is unclear on the acronym) I feel better and ready to face the week even if the good mood doesn't last that long!