Sunday, 11 January 2009

Photos of me

Hmmm, well I guess it had to happen sooner or later but hadn't really expected it.

A friend of mine posted pictures of the old me on Facebook. Some of these I've already starred at and felt uncomfortable about, in fact I think I mentioned this a few months back in a blog post about moving a load of all stuff from the house into the garage here.

I've never really thought I looked good in pictures and always looked, for want of a better expression, like a bit of a idiot (some would argue that this is a very accurate portrayal and they may be right). The old uni photos are particularly bad because I strongly suspect I was at the very least acting like a complete idiot most of the time and this is only magnified by the terrible photos.

Anyway, I thought for a while about how I should handle this (someone who shall remain nameless suggested telling my friend to "f***ing remove them" or words to that affect - I actually think she has a point and should probably handle all my PR in future, it would be quicker and much more effective).

Anyway, I decided to just message my friend and ask him to not tag the pics as me. Yes, that was the real problem, he was tagging this old pics with my new name/identity and this is why they showed up on Facebook!

So, here's the rules girls and boys:
  1. If you have pics of a TS person from before they transitioned that's fine, you can't be expected to destroy your photo album/memories. I don't like old photos of me but I'm realistic enough to realise that I can't destroy them just as I can't change reality to make me always have been how I am now.
  2. It's probably best you not shove these pics in someone's face though. Accepting the existance of such snaps is one thing but I don't want to see them!
  3. Under no circumstance should old pics be associated with someone's new identity. For a start in a very real physical and mental sense, they are NOT the same person. You don't go changing your body and mind with powerful chemicals and therapy to be the same person!
  4. Also a TS person is, in alot of cases, starting their life all over again and trying, as best as possible, to have everyone view them as their new, correct, gender and persona. It makes life hard (to say the least) if people are going to question this new gender based on some pics they saw. Okay, I'm trying to transition in the same job, location, and with the same set of friends but I've heard of alot of cases there someone just completely dumps their old life to start completely from scratch since that is easier.
Okay, sorry if this was a little patronising but I thought it was worth making the 'rules' clear since it can be a little confusing.

1 comment:

Lucy :: AKA Loopy Loo! x said...

Good set of rules, and clearly someone in particular needed telling them straight!!

I'm in the "I dumped all my old friends (not always by choice), for an easier life" catagory.