Tuesday, 14 October 2008


No, not me! I hope I don't look that old.

I talked to my Mum last night and she let me know that my Dad is now planning on retiring early next year at the age of 60/61. He had actually been aiming for 62 as this would have meant he completed 40 years service, but given that he is getting increasingly stressed at work, to the point that it's making him quite ill, he seems to have decided that enough is enough.

Of course, given the added stress caused by my recent changes I wanted to know if this has had any bearing on my Dads decision or at the very least his recent health issues. My Mum was honest (though maybe diplomatic as well) in saying that it was certainly an added stress but that the main problems were just the struggles with work and the fact that my Dad no-longer has the energy to fight against the system (which I think is probably something you have to do in his position).

I'm not really sure how this makes me feel. I think I should maybe feel some guilt for adding to my Dad's stress and maybe a little sad that what I have done has led, even in a small way, to him having to retire earlier than planned.

Too be honest I'm not really thinking about it, I'm more concerned about the wider issue that I haven't seen my parents in a long time and currently there doesn't seem to be much chance that I will in the near future. I'm just getting on with things in the same way that I have done before all of this mess in my life and not really concentrating on anything that I can't really sort out in terms of my family situation - it's selfish, and for that I am sorry, but I guess it's just how it is for now and hopefully it will change.

1 comment:

alan said...

I lost my Dad 25 years ago last Saturday. He was 56, had worked 35 years for the same company, never taken a sick day, and worked his way from an hourly job to the 2nd highest job in management. Huge stresses at work; a wife at home who added immensely to those, and a penchant for lots of coffee and late nights doing something he "loved" to unwind.

He developed pancreatic cancer...though no one knows for sure how or why, but all consulted said "stress" would have been part of the equation.

If he is eligible to retire, and is under that much stress, then it's much better for him to "get out now" than to stick around and end up with his grandson unable to remember him. My boys were 4 and 5 as my Dad died and have no memory of him at all...

If he really isn't ready to leave the workforce then perhaps he can find something much less stressful to do!

Sorry if you find this depressing; I'm just trying to tell you that if you are only a small part of his stress, then it's the major ones that need to be worried about.

Thinking of you...