Monday, 6 April 2009

What a difference a day makes ...

... or maybe a few days, and a fantastic weekend. Another appropriate aphorism would be "it is always darkest before the dawn". Essentially last week was horrible, not a pleasant time at all, but thankfully, things did get much better and the last few days have been amazing.

Last week was bad for several reasons; lack of access to my son, feeling down that I couldn't see my family, severe lack of money (my credit card debts having finally caught up with me), extra cost for my car repairs (every day seemed to bring more things that required fixing), and just generally lack of confidence and happiness in my life.

I guess the first thing to change was that my parents offered to help with covering the cost of the car repairs. That meant so much and was obviously a great load off my mind. While I don't use my car alot I do need it every now and then and there is no way I could afford to get another one and really didn't want to given that there was nothing really wrong with this one; everything that it needed was servicing/wear and tear, no actual faults.

Lucy had also said she was going to come up for the weekend to cheer me up and that was definitely something good to look forward to! So as the end of the week approached I was feeling a little more positive.

Then B phoned on Saturday morning saying my son wanted to come over in the afternoon and play a computer game I'd just got for him! It was actually my son that I spoke to (really hard to understand on the phone, bless him) which was fab! It was so good to see him and be able to spend some time with him and just be a parent.

Ironically, when he noticed the stars I'd put on the ceiling (more about that another time) and that Lucy was coming over (he's not met her but is nevertheless excited at meeting anyone new) he then wanted to stay over! After all the troubles of him being concerned about sleeping over places he seemed to be actively asking to do that! Kids!

Anyway, after that, Lucy, wine, trip to Tatton Park (again, more on that later), lots of chatting and just having my BFF (Best Friend Forever in case anyone is unclear on the acronym) I feel better and ready to face the week even if the good mood doesn't last that long!

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Hi, when my wife and I first seperated, things where not so great between us and she would want to argue when I tried to visit the kids(I had to be supervised because I was trans). I remember as a kid when my parents divorced, they argued all the time and put us in the middle of it all. Based on that, I didn't want to put my kids through that so I decided it better that I stay a way(a decission I regret even today). I cried every night, until I saw them again. Luckly my kids never rejected me for it, thank god. I know the joy you felt to see your kid this weekend and I'm so happy for you. I also know the pain you feel not seeing him for ant length of time, I feel for you. After 8 year, my wife and I are back together and I can say my kids and wife are doing great, even supporting me in my transition. What's the point, I'm not sure except to say don't loose hope and never but your child in the middle of any arguments between you and your wife(I'm not saying you are). I resented my parents for years for doing it. Just treasure the time you have with your child.
Hugs Michelle